Charlie Sheen, supposedly in rehab at his plush Hollywood home after a 36-hour drug bender, has two words to sum up all the media coverage of the episode: “All crap.”

In a text message exchange with E! News, Sheen said reports that his show “Two and a Half Men” is facing cancellation, and his parents are seeking control of his assets are false.

“All crap,” he wrote in the text message.

“Believe nothing. I will never speak about any of this as long as I’m alive. You’re all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong,” he added.

He also questioned why there was such rabid interest in his personal life given other major national and international events.
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“BTW, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bullsh-t….?”

Sheen called it “pathetic” that the media cared about his personal life and how he chooses to spend it.

“Shame shame shame,” he texted.

He particuarly singled out gossip Web site radaronline, for erroneous reporting. Radar reported that dad Martin Sheen is mulling seeking a court order to gain control of his son’s finances.

Meanwhile, Sheen’s rep, Stan Rosenfield offered a more conciliatory message.

“I have a lot of work to do to be able to return the support I have received from so many people,” the statement said.

‘I want to say thank you to my fellow castmembers, the crew of ‘Two and a Half Men’ and everyone at CBS and Warner Bros., especially [CBS CEO] Les Moonves and [Warner Bros. TV President] Bruce Rosenblum for their concern and support,” the statement says.

“And to my fans, your good wishes have touched me very much. Like Errol Flynn, who had to put down his sword on occasion, I just want to say thank you.”

Last year, Sheen had to be hospitalized after he went wild and trashed his posh suite at the Plaza Hotel while a porn star cowered naked locked in the bathroom.

This time, Sheen was rushed to the hospital after a cocaine and alcohol fuel binge at his Hollywood home that included a bevy of prostitutes and porn stars.

Check out Sheen’s 911 call below.

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