Jennifer Lawrence takes an epic tumble on her way to the Oscar stage.

Jennifer Lawrence takes an epic tumble on her way to the Oscar stage.

Jennifer Lawrence tripped over her dress and fell on the steps on her way to collect her best actress award. She laid there for a painfully long moment, yet no one tried to help her up.

Finally, as she lifted herself off the floor, Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackman finally jumped up and rushed to her aid.

At least Frenchman Jean Dujardin, 2012’s Best Actor who presented her award, walked over to give her a hand. Ah.. the French. Either way, too little too late.

Her strapless Dior Haute Couture gown, which flowed to the floor and must have contained yards and yards of heavy fabric, finally got the better of her. Fortunately her strapless top stayed put. Thank god for boob tape.

When she finally made it to the microphone the crowd was on its feet with a standing ovation. She handled the incident with aplomb. “Thank you so much,” she said. “This is nuts. You guys are only standing up because I fell and you feel bad. That was embarrassing.”

You could tell all the cinematographers, film editors and technical people spend way too much time in darkened rooms; they all were over 50 and had shoulder-length hair.

Kristen Chenoweth: Enough Already!

Kristen Chenoweth: Enough Already!

If there was any doubt about actors being self-centered Kristen Chenoweth proved the rule, rather than the exception.

When she wasn’t fawning over the stars, she was fawning over herself. And who in America doesn’t now know how tall she is? For the record, she’s 4’11,” as she mentioned far too often.

Speaking of stature, who matched Dustin Hoffman (5’5″) as a presenter with Charlize Theron. She’s 5’10” without heels. He couldn’t help but talk to her breasts. But maybe that was supposed to be a joke.

Catherine Zeta-Jones clearly looked like she lost a step when she reprised her performance of “All That Jazz” from the 2002 film “Chicago.”

Why the number was even included at the 2013 Oscars is weird in itself. But when Zeta-Jones climbed on top of that piano it look for a moment like she couldn’t get off before she wiggled free.