Ilyssa Panitz pioneered divorce counseling after her own marriage broke up. Today, she’s an expert in her field. (Photo: disCompany)
For Ilyssa Panitz, going through her own divorce prompted a major change in her career focus.
The veteran journalist, with a 24-year career as a reporter and producer, developed a niche as a “divorce columnist.” She says it’s a first-ever in the field of couples counseling,which is usually focused on keeping a relationship together, not decoupling one.
Panitz is the creator, writer, producer and host of a nationally syndicated, live streaming radio show called, “The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz.”
Panitz, then 36, wed in 2005, and the marriage received coverage in The New York Times and NY Post.
She had a lovely home in ritzy Westchester County, a New York City suburb, financial security and two children — the picture-perfect marriage.
Then, everything came apart, she filed for a divorce in 2018 and had to start all over.
Ilyssa Panitz hosts a nationally syndicated and live streaming radio show. It airs every weekend on CRN Digital Talk Radio Network and is podcast on Apple, Amazon, Audacy, Spotify and other services. (Photo: disCompany)
“If you haven’t personally experienced divorce firsthand, you cannot understand the magnitude of how it impacts every area of your life. The perception is, divorce is just a “legal thing.” But it’s not,” she tells The New York Independent in Q&A on her unique career.
From there, she’s grown her audience through a show that airs Saturday and Sunday on CRN Digital Talk Radio Network and then becomes a Podcast on Apple, Amazon, Audacy, Spotify, and ListenNotes among other outlets.
We sat for her for an exclusive interview on her career.
NY INDEPENDENT: Divorce is a tough realization to come to, but isn’t it true that up to 50% of all marriages end in divorce?
PANITZ: According to the research, up to 50% of all first marriages will end in a divorce. Those figures jump to 60% for second marriages and over 70% for third marriages. If you haven’t personally experienced divorce firsthand, you cannot understand the magnitude of how it impacts every area of your life. The perception is, divorce is just a “legal thing.” But it’s not. There are so many areas to navigate, many of which people don’t think about. To have a trusted and credible voice guide you through it, is essential.
How is anyone supposed to be equipped to handle everything that’s being thrown at them if they don’t have experience and knowledge with divorce? This is where I come in! Not only is this type of journalism necessary, but everyone can access it.
NYI: What do you feel is the No. 1 cause of divorce?
PANITZ: It’s a toss-up between money and/or cheating!
NYI: Your own divorce impacted you and caused you to, in essence, become the first divorce columnist. Clearly you have the skillset. At what point did you come to that resolution?
PANITZ: I was working from home during COVID and going through a difficult divorce. While watching “Good Morning America” one day, I realized, the media industry is filled with correspondents who cover politics, sports, foreign affairs, weather, medicine, but no one was designated to focus “exclusively” on divorce. I saw a void on a very important subject people need information on. It was then I decided to reinvent myself and fill this big hole.
NYI: Ben Affleck; Jennifer Lopez; Brad Pitt; Angelina Jolie; Tom Brady; Gisele Bundchen; Keith Urban; Nicole Kidman; Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner, 2025 certainly has been the year for celebrity divorces. I imagine that being in the spotlight only increases the pressure.
PANITZ: Going through a divorce is the second biggest stress factor a person will experience. Death of a loved one is No. 1. Everything in your life is changing – unraveling – shifting and what’s worse, you have no control of what is unfolding, especially if you are in the middle of a contested case that is in front of a judge, Another thing that freaks people out and raises one’s anxiety level, the life as you knew it, is no more. It’s scary to start over, head into unfamiliar territory and not know what to expect from one day to the next.
NYI: When a divorce occurs, what’s the usual first reaction?
PANITZ: Sadness. Divorce comes with a lot of tears, and many people go through the grieving process, which includes shock/denial, depression, anger, bargaining, denial, loneliness, and finally acceptance. While I am not a licensed therapist, I can tell you from personal experience it’s vital you work through each stage with a trained mental health expert and no, there is no time frame for how long it takes to heal. Do it at you own pace so you can build back better.
NYI: What has surprised you the most?
PANITZ: Many people feel divorce is isolating, and at times it can be especially at night when things quiet down and you are by yourself. But I am also here to tell you there is a whole community out there. You don’t have to go through this alone and here’s a quick tip, you shouldn’t.
NYI: If someone is reading this and divorce is imminent … what’s the first thing they should do?
PANITZ: Know and learn everything about your finances. Everyone thinks their first call should be to a lawyer. That’s a mistake and here’s why. New York is an equitable distribution state and in order to settle a divorce fairly, you must know what you have, where it is, balances in every account, on every credit card, what debts you may be responsible for, where you bank, what’s in your retirement, and a list of all your assets. How are you supposed to get what you are legally entitled to if you don’t know a thing about your money and what you are worth.